Judge Rules Fiancee Dumped via Text Keeps Her Ring!

Last week a New York Supreme Court judge made a controversial ruling in a matrimonial case in which an upstate man decided to call off his wedding with his fiancée by text message. The judge ruled that the woman would get to keep her 2.97 carat diamond engagement ring, valued at over $50,000, despite New York's established legal precedent that grooms have a right to the ring back if the wedding does not place, regardless of which party got cold feet (you can find more information about that in my Love and Warfare blogpost found here.

In this particular case, the groom texted the bride to call off the wedding. When the bride protested about the method of the breakup, the groom replied by saying "Plus you get a $50,000 parting ring. Enough for a down payment on a house." This statement came back to haunt the groom when the Judge ruled that his statement counted as a formal acknowledgement that the ring was a parting gift intended for the bride to keep.

Stories like this drive home the potential dangers of technology when dealing with legal matters. You should keep in mind that things that you say in text messages, Facebook updates, tweets and an array of other forms of instant communication can and potentially will be used against you in Court. You can read the letter I give to clients about smart social media usage here and find more information on how social media can affect your divorce here.

Divorce in the Social Media Age

Divorces are often stressful, conflict filled events. Add technology such as cellphones and social media into the mix and divorce can be downright troublesome. Many people are not aware that what they say or do online can affect life outside the virtual world, especially during legal dispute such as divorce. Here are some helpful tips on what you should avoid doing online during a divorce.

1. Remember that anything you put on Facebook or other social media sites is public and can therefore end up in anyone's hands, even if you enable a "Friends Only" privacy setting. You don't want to look bad in a courtroom when the opposing attorney brings up your not-so-amicable Facebook statuses. You should never share anything on social media that you wouldn't want brought up in a courtroom.

2. Don't forget to change your passwords. Attorneys always advise getting rid of any shared bank accounts or credit cards during your first divorce consultation, but often forget to advise their clients to change their social media passwords. In such an emotionally charged time, one spouse may log into the social media accounts of the other and not only "hack" the account by posting unflattering statuses or comments but read private messages. You should also think about how you plan on separating things like cell phone service accounts. These contracts can often be expensive to break, so try to plan for the financial hit.

3. Remember that your soon-to-be-ex may also post unflattering things online. Facebook, Twitter and/or other social media updates can and have be used as evidence that a particular person is lying to the court. There have been countless divorce cases where one partner tries to hide certain assets or income from the court in order to look financially destitute when he or she isn't. If your soon-to-be-ex is claiming unemployment while uploading pictures of brand new vehicles to Facebook, you can submit that evidence into court.

4. Texts and e-mails are also admissible as evidence. Use caution when sending your soon-to-be-ex or even mutual friends texts or emails about things pertaining to your divorce. Remember, almost anything you write can be used in court.

If you keep these tips in mind, you will be able to avoid unnecessary stress during the divorce process. Remember, if you have any questions or concerns during the divorce process, you should consult with your lawyer before you take any action.

Social Media Reminder: How Facebook, Twitter and Instagram Can Hurt Your Legal Case

Today I would like to share a letter I send to all my clients regarding SOCIAL MEDIA. While we all enjoy some time on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, we must also be cautious in our use of it when we have on-going legal matters!

Below is my letter.


Dear [Client]:

I am writing to give you some advice regarding your use of social media as you progress through the legal matter you have placed in our hands. As I am sure you are aware, social networking in the form of Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, blogs and the like has become an almost ever-present part of our lives. Often we post a thought, feeling, or photo without a second thought. In the context of a legal issue though, these actions can come back to cause you headache and hurt your case. I must advise you to use extreme caution when making any sort of post, update, or upload to any social networking outlet.

It is becoming a common practice for attorneys to request copies of any and all posts any interested party, including you, have made online. While we can object to these requests based on their relevancy, the courts have nonetheless been agreeing with defendant’s requests and allowing them access. In fact, District Attorneys Offices and other government agencies have successfully subpoenaed these accounts.

• Do not mention anything about your case online.
• If you absolutely must post something about your case online, do not enter anything detrimental to your case.
• You can’t delete it! Once you post something to a social networking site, it is there forever. If you go into your accont and delete anything, it still exists as the social networking site’s administrator keeps archives of all the material ever on their site. The information or photos still exist and parties can ask for, and usually get it.
• Review your “privacy settings” to make sure they are set at the tighest restraint possible. You can change them back once your case is over but while your matter is pending, it is in your best interest that your “friends” not be aware of your every move.

Please keep in mind that these warnings are not to make your life more difficult, but rather they are for your own protection, as well as to help make your case as solid as possible. Being cautious and making smart choices will help your case in the long run.

Please feel free to call our office at (718) 317-5007 if you have any questions at all or need additional information. Also, I ask that you contact us immediately if you feel you have any sort of social networking post that might be detrimental to your case so we may assess how to deal with it, and what action to take.

- Kevin McKernan